EXCERPT FROM FR. RAMON MA. BERNABE’S HOMILY DURING OUR WEDDING
ARCHIE AND JONALY
There is a story told about a four-year-old child who awoke one night frightened, convinced that in the darkness around her there were all kinds of spooks and monsters. Alone and frightened, she ran to her parents’ bedroom. Her mother calmed her down and, taking her by the hand, led her back to her own room where she put on a light and reassured the child with these words: ‘Anak, you need not be afraid, you are not alone here. God is in the room with you.’ The child replied: ‘Mommy, I know that God is here, but I need someone in this room who has some skin!’
“I know that God is here, but I need someone in this room who has some skin.” This, I believe, is an important dimension of Easter, the season which spirit enriches the sacrament of Matrimony Archie and Jonaly now celebrate. Easter is about the Lord’s resurrection from the dead, and this same Lord abides with us in a very deep way that transcends the physical limits of the body, with its skin and bones. That is why he can be present to all of us anytime and anywhere. At the same time however, the Lord wants to be present to us and to the word through each other’s bodies. We are called to be the Lord’s hands and feet and skin and bones to the people around us. We are called to be the instruments of the love of God to each other and to the rest of creation. That is why the disciples of the Lord had such a hard time believing because they needed time to get used to the new way in which the Lord wanted to be present to them. They needed time to realize that now they were to be the new skin and bones of the Lord, in the world.
Thus, Archie and Jonaly have been chosen a most auspicious season in the calendar of the Church to celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony. The season of Easter and the Sacrament of Matrimony celebrate one and the same deep truth of our faith- God’s love is true and real, especially when we give this love some skin, flesh, and bones for the world to believe.
When Jonaly brought to me the invitation to their wedding, I asked her which part of the invitation’s texts were personally written by them. And so there is this set of texts which they wrote for each other. Archie wrote: “Even when I first met you, I knew somehow that you would be the love of my life. And that is exactly what you are. We have made a history together, woven out of love. Through the years you have inspired me in many ways. You are so much a part of me and part of my happiness. Today, when I look at you, I feel even more love than I ever felt before. I love you very much.”
Jonaly, for her part, wrote this: “I prayed for someone perfect for me, to be my love and share my life, and God gave me someone exactly like you. For that, I thank God always for giving me a wonderful person in you. You are a wonderful partner, and I give you all my love forever. I love you so much.”
We know that Archie and Jonaly have sufficient love for each other. They have come at the end of their journey of getting to know each other and arriving at the decision to commit their lives to live in mutual love and fidelity.
But we also know that even the very best of human love cannot make a commitment endure “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, all the days of our life.” The best of our human love remains poor and weak in the eyes of God. In a familiar Scripture text used for marriage, the one from St. Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians, it is written that “Love is patient and kind….Love is not jealous or boastful…Love is not arrogant or rude…Love overcomes anger….Love does not delight in the wrong…”
But our experience in loving tells us that although love is patient and kind, often time it is not; though love is not jealous or boastful, but from time to time it is. Love is not arrogant or rude, but there are times when it can’t help but be so. Love overcomes anger but occasionally it prefers to nurture such feeling. Love does not delight in wrong, but sometimes it maliciously enjoys doing so.
That is why the Lord sort of insists on the kind of love that is like his love for us, and assures us that if we live on in his love and to love as he has loved, then our joy will be complete!
But this promise also comes at some cost to them and to all of us who desire to be filled by God. Love can only be patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, not arrogant or rude, overcoming of anger, and not delightful in truth, if there is forgiveness. Behind very word in this Hymn to Love is the reality of forgiveness. We can never comprehend the nature of love apart from the grace of forgiveness.
Any lasting relationship, but especially the relationship between husband and wife, knows that the other face of love is forgiveness. Without forgiveness love cannot endure, it cannot last. It is forgiveness that can transform human love to divine love. In marriage and in any human relationship, there should be more words of forgiveness than endearing words of love.
And so today, we say three things to Archie and Jonaly. One, thank you to both of you for giving skin to the love of God, not only for each other, but for the world, to whom you are called to be witnesses of the Risen Lord. Second, welcome the power and mercy of God who alone can fill the best of your human love and make it great enough to last a lifetime. Third, pray and strive for the grace of forgiveness in your married life, so that your love can endure all things.
God Bless you and your future family!
Fr. Mon Bernabe, OMI
April 28, 2007
Isulan, Sultan Kidarat
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